Posts Tagged ‘wedding band’

The other day I was reading the awesome blog  Life in the Farce Lane and her entry End of an er…or inspired a comment from me that inspired this blog post.  She talks about recently taking her engagement ring off, months and months after breaking up with her fiance, and how it felt to take off the ring and having a personal “farewell” party.  It was a very touching and bittersweet post.

It’s tough going through those sorts of milestones, putting away important pieces of your old life. Reminds me of when I first stopped wearing my wedding band after my ex and I split.  It just felt weird not having it on.  My finger was used to having it there, the small indentation and slightly lighter color where the band was took a while to go away.  Oddly enough, what bothered me the most was, when tapping my fingers to music, I couldn’t add that metallic “clink” to the rhythm.  It also made me realized that I used to “clink” the ring against stuff as I’d put my left hand against it sometimes without really thinking about it, but often enough that it was a little jarring not hearing that sound anymore.

I still find the white gold ring lovely to look at; it’s scuffed and worn from 11 years of getting brushed against whatever I put my hands on or carried, taking showers with it, swimming with it, doing yard work with it.  Some of those years weren’t happy ones, but I still see the ring as a reminder of the happiness we felt when we bought it and got the inscription made inside the band (both our initials, plus the wedding date to help my forgetful mind remember as the years went by), the optimism and the excitement for the future when we gave our vows and exchanged rings.  The scuffed and dull finish now reminds me of the time invested in a relationship that produced two beautiful and sweet children that I adore.  While the marriage didn’t ultimately last, I don’t regret it.

I remember when we went on our honeymoon, and we had to sit in seats across the aisle from each other on the airplane, where we could chat but obviously not really act like newlyweds and hold hands, snuggle or show more blatant public displays of attention.  Even so, one of the stewardesses asked me if we’d just gotten married.

“Yes!  How did you know?” I asked.  I was 32, she was 31, so we weren’t kids.  Did we have a newlywed glow?  Was there some vibe that we gave off?

“Your wedding band is so shiny,” she pointed out.  “When you wear that ring every day that shine wears off pretty quickly, so yours is obviously really new.”

I lost the band a couple times over those 11 years.  I’d rarely take it off, and occasionally when I did I’d forget to put it back on, then forget where I’d left it.  It usually wasn’t hard to figure out where it was, in part from my habit of tapping the ring against stuff to give me that “clink” sound, and how I’d notice when suddenly that sound didn’t happen when I was subconsciously expecting it.  It was usually within the hour or so, and I’d quickly find it.

One time the band was missing for over a week.  I remember tapping my hand against a doorway, realizing the “clink” sound was missing… and I couldn’t remember when I may have taken it off.  Or when the last time I had been conscious of it on my finger, the last “clink” sound.  I retraced my steps, checked all the floors in the house, checked my car.  The next day I checked my cube at work.  It was nowhere to be found.

After a week I was resigned to the fact that the ring was gone, and contemplated whether I should get another one or not worry about it.  I’m not really a jewelry-wearing kind of guy anyway.

Then one day, as I walked to the shed to get out the lawnmower, a gleam of light reflected off something in the grass in the middle of the yard.  I knelt down and there it was—my ring, deep in a clump of grass!  It kinda blew me away that something so small, in the middle of my back yard, which is mostly shaded by trees, could have given off a reflection of sunlight at just the right angle for me to see it as I walked.  Finding it again seemed remarkable.

Right now it’s packed away… safekeeping it for whichever of my kids might want it when they grow up, maybe as something to hang on a necklace, or something else interesting.

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