Posts Tagged ‘father’

My friend Molly pointed me to this great blog written by psychologist Kelly Flanagan and I felt like it most definitely deserved a spot here on My Ideal Woman.  Not only because it perfectly expresses what I’d want to tell my daughter once she gets a little bit older and interested in boys (and I might just print out a copy to give to her), but because the message is a powerful one not just to little girls but all the former little girls out there who find themselves tangled up with unappreciative guys.  I get angry when I hear about this sort of thing too, because it shouldn’t be a woman’s — or either person’s — job to keep your partner interested.  Trust in yourself that you are interesting, and that there are people out there who will find you endlessly interesting… and that you deserve nothing less.

Below is what he so beautifully wrote:


A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl
(About Her Future Husband)

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.” (more…)

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Words for Dad

When it started to become clear that Dad was not going to be making it out of the hospital, I left for a little while to go to work.  On the drive in, I started thinking about his funeral.  I’m a very emotional guy, and when I go to funerals tears flow freely and I get choked up.  Often at funerals there’s a time where people can stand up and say a few words about the dearly departed.  Many times there were words I wanted to say, thoughts I wanted to express, but then my throat would catch and the tears would flow and I’d remain rooted to the seat and the thoughts would remain in my mind.  I just knew that if I stood up to try and say something I’d just start sobbing and be unable to string together a coherent thought.

I knew that no one would expect me to get up and speak at my father’s funeral… and yet, at my core I’m a writer, and words are what I do– they’re as much a part of me as my arms and legs.  I felt that I had to put together words to eulogize Dad and I wanted to try and share them with family and his friends.  I know that I could have simply printed it out and handed it to people to read, but that seemed like the easy way out.  You only get one chance to say your final goodbye to your father, and speaking the words I wrote was the best way I could think to do it.

I printed it out in large font, front and back, stocked up on quite a few tissues, and went on up.  I know reading from a sheet of paper doesn’t make for the best public speaking, but I figured it would help keep me focused and keep me from choking up.  I did try and look up some during the eulogy, and I somehow managed to make it through, in large part I think because I did my best to inject some humor into the words to battle back the tears.  Everyone seemed to love what I had to say, and that made me even more happy with the decision to speak.

I’ve got the entirety of the eulogy behind the cut.


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