Posts Tagged ‘blogging’

See the tabs at the top of my blog?  One is my “About” page and one is called “Best Of.”  I created the Best Of page to make it easier for readers to find some of the posts that I or others consider some of my best writing here without having to wade through the blog month by month, searching for keywords, or clicking tags.  It occurred to me that I haven’t updated my Best Of page in over a year… so I have corrected it.


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So after I loaded and posted my rather poor, poor pitiful me blog yesterday, WordPress congratulates me on my 2 Year Blogiversary (back on May 26th)… making me feel rather guilty about spoiling such an occasion with such a downer!  So let me remedy the situation with a proper bit of retrospect and introspect…

May 26th, 2011 I put up my very first blog post (…She’d Be Creative).  I’d been separated for over a year and was beginning to try and figure out what the next phase of my life would look like.  One thing I knew was that didn’t want to spend it alone, and I’d been doing a lot of thinking about things I’d learned from my failed marriage, and what sort of person I’d like to share my life with in the future.  Since there are a lot of single people out there, and a lot of divorced people out there, I thought writing my blog through that perspective would give it focus and a narrative that people could relate to and hopefully find interesting.

I go into more depths about the origin of this blog in the retrospective I wrote one year ago today (My Ideal Woman — One Year and Counting!).

I have to say, I’ve found it harder and harder of late to find stuff to write about here.  While I’ve been around the block a few times in my years, my experiences with the opposite sex is rather limited compared to many people my age and gender, especially given my self-imposed moratorium in writing much about my ex.  She and I had a very long and tangled story over the years, and given that we share children who are still very young I don’t feel comfortable airing too many details here in a public space.  She has certainly inspired quite a few thoughts and musings on this blog, but mostly I’ve kept it anonymous who and what specifically I was talking about.

Of course, when I started this blog I’d hoped that I’d have been able to get out there and meet people — women specifically — as friends and maybe more, and figured this blog would build on my musings of my past and hopes of the future with reflections on the present.  Obviously, that hasn’t happened, and so my updates to this blog have seriously floundered of late.  For that, dear readers, I apologize!  Because I write this blog not only for the good it does me to gather my thoughts in an orderly way, but also for the great feedback I get from so many of you.  WordPress tells me I’ve gotten 1,095 comments from you these past two years, and that there are 103 followers of my blog.  That’s both mind-blowing and humbling.  Your words have sustained me these past two years– you’ve brought me smiles when I’m feeling down, you’ve made me laugh, you’ve made me think, and you’ve brought me changes in perspective.  You’ve given me confirmation that while I might sometimes be lonely, I’m not really alone– that my words aren’t just flashes of electrons in the silent darkness, but that there are some really awesome people out there who read me, who care what I think, and are moved by what I’ve written enough to share their own thoughts and reactions.

So in honor of you, and the time and energy you’ve invested in My Ideal Woman over these past two years, I pledge to do better.  Sure, life isn’t really unfolding as I’d thought it might, but honestly, when does it ever?  I’ve got some ideas for things to write about that will hopefully bring up the level of new content here, and hopefully you’ll find it worthy of your time and your comments going forward.

Now damn it, where’s that football?

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“Very interesting blog… it’s almost like you are doing a research paper as opposed to meeting new people…”

My cousin was kind enough to chime in on my post earlier about online dating, and I went ahead and set up a profile on Plenty of Fish since it was free and would let me actually interact with people without paying first.  After a few days I got a note from a woman who asked me a few questions, including wondering about my blog.  After I pointed her to it she sent me the above message as reply.

It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting… but then again I’m not sure what I was expecting.  It was the first time that I know of that someone single and on the prowl in my area had read my blog.  I sent her a message back and haven’t heard from her since… so it apparently didn’t exactly hook her or keep her interest.  And I’m not sure what to make of it.

I mean, the core point she made is kinda true.  I’m not exactly in a position right now to be meeting people.  The clutch in my car needs to be replaced which is pretty expensive, and along with some other cash flow issues I’ve had to go back to working like a dog like I was pre-roommate.  Thankfully I know this is temporary, and as soon as I get everything paid I can ease back and reclaim my Saturdays for socializing.  Working like a dog doesn’t exactly leave time for conventional dating, especially “getting to know you” first dates.  Asking someone new to meet me for drinks at 11:30pm after I get off work from my second job would likely come across as creepy or sleazy.

So my blog… well I guess it is a research paper, on the topic of me— my thoughts, my past, my hopes for the future.  And maybe not exactly a great calling card for someone just getting to know me?  Perhaps what I write here is too much for dating prospects?  What do you think?

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Hi all!  Sorry I haven’t updated in a while… I have to admit, I’ve been distracted by a new toy.  No, not THAT kind of toy, sheesh– where your mind leaps to when I let it!! 😉  No, my ancient and decrepit cell phone was really starting to become a problem with a lot of quirks and issues that I finally gave in to Verizon’s incessant reminder that I’ve eligible for an upgrade for months now.  As I perused the options available to me — and reading the feedback comments for each device — the only newish phone that didn’t cost a mint that had nearly universal praise was the iPhone 4 (the original iPhone 4 from about a year ago, not the newest iPhone 4S).  Everyone seemed to love it, and since I’m already 1/3 of the way into the iPool with my iPod/iTunes, I figured– why not?  The deal was good, the phone looked sweet, and I felt ready to see what the hub-bub over smart phones was all about.

I got the phone Monday afternoon.

a screenshot of my actual phone

Those of you with smart phones are probably smiling and totally grok what’s happened to me all week.  Yeah, I’ve been sucked in by all the super-sweet stuff this phone does, downloading apps, browsing the net, staying in touch with all my social networks whenever I feel like it.  Trying out the camera and the video recorder, making ringtones.  It’s nuts!  It’s awesome!  How/why had I resisted so long?!?!

Of course, one of the first things I downloaded was the Word Press app, and I’m pretty stoked about that.  See, some of you write some rather risque stuff (some with pics!), and honestly most of the time I have for checking the computer comes when I’m at either my full or part-time jobs.  Neither place I feel totally comfortable rolling the dice and checking my blog reader at… plus, at my part-time job at night the computer and browser are so ancient and out-of-date that I can’t even bring up the reader there.  It kinda blows my mind that I can bring up the Word Press reader on my phone there but not on the computer…  Anyway now, with this app, I can pull up the reader anytime and see what you guys are writing about without worrying about curse words or details about sex or raunchy pictures.  I’m stoked!  I feel like I’ve been a bad blog follower of late because the only time I’m able to really keep up is late at night once I get home after my two jobs.

Now, finding time to compose some blogs… that’s a different story.  Trying to type stuff on the phone is maddening to someone who’s fingers fly typing on a keyboard as fast as mine do.

So, my questions are:   how’ve y’all been?  Anything big going on I might have missed?

And, most importantly… what are the MUST HAVE apps for a smart phone?!? 😉

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My friend Silly G has created a new blog, partly inspired by a flurry of fun Tweets regarding cocktails, BBQ, hot tubbing and flash parties.  If you love grilling and love cocktails (and seriously, who doesn’t?) then be sure to check out her blog and give her lots of encouragement to share more of her tasty creations!!!  She’s a talented writer and quite fun to read.

Link Love ====> Sear To Perfection

Her About Page is very amusing, here’s part of her story there:

One day missgrill decided to start looking for love.  She had heard over and over again that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.   In the attempt to hook a man, she started barbequing like never before.

Without a single visible burn scar , she boasts the following major dating accomplishments since May 2011:

  • burned 1000 kg of lump charcoal
  • grilled 1 million rib-steaks
  • mixed 442.7 cups of rub
  • too many dates that watched her light charcoal cause they’d never seen it before.
  • barbequed 350 racks of ribs
  • sucked back 682 cases of beer

All this and she has yet to hook the man the man of her dreams.

One day missgrill decided she was sick of spending too much money on prime cuts of meat to feed dates that never became her man.  “Enough is enough.  No man gets the privilege of tasting my barbeque until he has proven his worth.”

From that point on she barbequed just for herself and her friends.

(Oh, and her original blog about love, life, and relationships is great fun too—->  Three Months to Forty)

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I see my muse Rachel has ported her blog over to WordPress (yay, WordPress!!), and that she also uploaded stuff from her Livejournal days.  Some of you may remember I posted about her in my post “My Ideal Woman – One Year and Counting!” as one of the women who inspired me to start up this blog.  I think her smarts and personality really shine through in her writing, so go check her out… if you like her, follow her, comment and maybe she’ll update more frequently 🙂

Link Love ====> Toughbunny

Here’s what she says on her About page:

I am in the middle of starting over. :)    I spent  14 years in Washington DC working on the Hill and in Government Affairs.   After several things just went kaplooey, the way life sometimes does, I decided it was time for something new.

I am now a young-middle-aged student in NYC.   I feel 18 and 60 all at the same time (and I am neither that naive or that wise).  I have honestly never felt so young or so old.   I am making many of the same mistakes, but hopefully learning from them much faster.

I want to make this blog something funny and silly.  Hopefully I will find some kindred souls out there!


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Wow, today kinda snuck up on me—My Ideal Woman is one year old!  I’m actually glad I didn’t totally miss it—some of you may have noticed I haven’t really updated in a while.  These past few weeks have been a brutal combination of being insanely busy and insanely stressful, and the combination of mental drain and preoccupation on various worries has left little room for musings on life, love and happiness.  Thankfully, things have finally started falling into place, lists are being checked off, and while I’m still holding my breath a little bit, I think everything’s going to be okay.  One thing I do know—I’m really, REALLY looking forward to the housewarming/birthday throw-down I’ve planned in June.  I really need some epic fun…

So… May 26th, 2011 I put up my very first blog post.  I was inspired to give blogging a try by two women I’ve never met face-to-face, but had gotten to know over the internet.  The first was Rachel M., who I followed on Livejournal for a while.  A superb writer, I found her posts engaging—sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking.  In her I saw a bit of a kindred-spirit, and I always found myself cheering her on, hoping for things to go her way, and hitting the comment button to offer condolences when they didn’t.  Eventually she left Livejournal and started a blog, Toughbunny.

The second was MJ, a woman I met online through our mutual love of a collectible card game.  I write a weekly column about the game, and one day out of the blue she emailed me a sketch of something I’d written about in my column, something I’d imagined and wish I’d had a picture of.  We sent some emails back and forth, followed each other on Twitter, friended each other on Facebook.  Again, I saw in her a bit of a kindred-spirit in things we’d both experienced in life, and then one day she started up a blog as well, Moxy MTG.  Her writing was whip-smart and funny, and I enjoyed reading everything she put up.  She’s also an incredibly artist, and she was sweet enough to draw up the banner art that tops this blog.

It occurred to me after Rachel and then MJ started their blogs that blogging offered a much better way to reach out to a larger audience than Livejournal did.  I’d been doing a ton of writing for a long time about that collectible card game, and while I love writing about it, the audience for that writing is pretty niche.  When friends or family wanted to know if I’d written anything lately, I could show them that stuff, but they wouldn’t understand whether it was funny or interesting unless they were into that game (and most are not).  I make some money on that writing, but if I were ever to get to my goal of writing for a living, I’d very likely need to show that I can write other things as well.


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I thought I might try something fun… ask me a question in the comments, and I’ll answer it.  Anything you’ve wondered about me from reading my blog, or anything you’re curious about?  Want my opinion on something?  Ask away!  I’m curious to see what you all come up with 🙂

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The response to my guest blog over at Simply Solo (In Defense of the Beta Man) along with some things I read on a couple blogs recently got me thinking about “The Friend Zone.”  You know, that place men talk about hating being put by the women in their lives, like it’s some dread purgatory from which there is no escape.

I don’t think it’s always like that, or that simple.  Let’s talk about The Friend Zone.  [NOTE:  Much of what I’m writing here is assuming that the male/female friends in question aren’t married to or significantly involved with other people.  That changes the dynamics!]

Sure, for some (alpha) men and their relationships with women, there’s no worse fate than to be put into the FZ.  For them, women aren’t friends, they’re prizes to be won and the prize should include some sort of sexual contact.  If you’ve been put in the FZ, then there’s no chance of sexual contact and so there is no prize.  The Friend Zone is the polar opposite of the end zone, game over man!

For beta men, as I talked about in my blog post, spending time with a woman he cares about is the prize.  Sure, would he like to end the night with a roll in the hay?  Of course, he’s still a man!  A woman’s body holds endless fascination for a man and we’d like nothing better than to be given the chance to explore it.  But a beta man is often interested in a woman for a lot more reasons than just sex, so being in the FZ means still getting to spend time with the woman.  90% of what you want is still a very good deal, right?


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Some of you may have wondered why I haven’t posted for a little bit.  I’ve tried to keep up a fairly regular clip of posts because, when it comes to blogging, there’s definitely a “publish or perish” vibe.  When I write a bunch I notice that I get more traffic to a lot of different pages, not just the new posts I put up, and when my writing dries up a bit I notice the overall hits diminish.

But I’m not really in a dry spot writing now.  I’m working on my guest-blog for Simply Solo, and I’ve been reading and leaving comments to many of your blogs.

No, what’s got me tripped up is revealed here:

When I published the last post, WordPress reminded me that it was my 99th post.  99 already?  It was a little bit shocking, and actually quite exciting, because the very next post was going to be 100.  A hundred posts!  That seems like a pretty awesome milestone, doesn’t it?  If you do something 100 times you’re pretty committed to it, and it gives me a real feeling of accomplishment.  That’s about 9-10 posts every month, not too shabby.

So, to mark my 100th post I needed to do something special.  Hmmm… what should that be?  A retrospective?  Well, I did a 2011 year review of my blog just a few months back in January, so doing another one seemed a bit redundant.  Not to mention, I’m actually coming up on my year anniversary blogging May 26th, which seems like a better time for a retrospective or review of one year of blogging.

Then I thought—well, maybe I could take this time to thank everyone for reading me!  But then I realized… there’s 45 of you now (wow!!), and I could go on and on about how much I appreciate the kind words and comments each of you put in my posts, and some of you have fantastic blogs of your own that I love reading.  There’s the drop-dead sexiness in the writing of creativenoodling, lifeinthedashlane, and threemonthstoforty; or the powerful introspection of clduncan75, subtlekate and beautifulmess7.  I could go on and on…

But ultimately I suppose it’s most important to just get number 100 out of the way and get to writing and sharing the next thing that’s on my mind.  Life feels like such an adventure right now, I’ve finally found my roommate, I can see a little daylight now in terms of financial stability and “me-time,” diet and exercise has started to pay off, I’m feeling great physically, mentally, spiritually.  I can’t wait to chronicle this journey here, and to take you with me on this adventure, to hear your thoughts and read what you have to say, as well as read about your own journey.  Thank you so much for being here, for being a part of this adventure, and I hope you’ll stick around for the next 100 posts!

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