A Great New Podcast Discovery!

I love my full-time job… May will mark my 12 year anniversary.  I work for a great company and work with great people and make decent money.

My actual work is mostly interesting too… but it does involve a fair amount of redundant work that can be rather tedious.  So to help occupy my mind when I go through the repetition I listen to various podcasts on iTunes.

And I recently discovered a new podcast I really like!  It’s called The Because Show, and it’s three women friends in their mid-30s who live in California talking about whatever—life, love, pop culture, sex, books, TV shows, movies, marriage, parenthood.  One’s a single mom who recently went through a divorce, the other two are married and I believe all have kids.  They’ve got great rapport and great voices… and as someone who loves women, their show is like catnip to me.  Check ‘em out!

I thought it might be fun to share the podcasts I listen to regularly:

SEX, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Why You Suck in Bed—raw, raunchy and honest, I love listening just to see what crazy topics they may touch upon each week.  In particular I really enjoy the two women co-hosts, Dr. Stacy and Molly, who are both incredibly smart, sexy as hell and are open to talking frankly about anything.

Sex Nerd Sandra—Sandra is such a positive force, listening to her makes me want to pack up and move to California just for the slim chance to make friends with her.  She’s got an exuberance that’s infectious and fun, a driving curiosity to learn everything she can about sex and relationships and then to share it with her listeners.  I just love it!

The Because Show—I wrote about that above.

(The first two shows I don’t actually download and listen at work because they can get rather sexually explicit, so instead I download at home and listen to them during my driving commutes)

POP CULTURE

The Walking Dead ‘Cast / The Talking Dead / Afterbuzz TV: The Walking Dead:  I’m a huge fan of the TV show and have written about it a few times over on my TV blog (which reminds me, I need to fire that up again).  My favorite is The Walking Dead ‘Cast because there’s a woman  co-host which provides a great female fan perspective on the show, and the chemistry between Karen and Jason is really fun.  The Talking Dead is a good one too, I enjoy the recaps and the news and the geeky side-tracks Chris and Jason take.  Afterbuzz is light and fluffy and fun, and is available the fastest, actually showing up in the feed the morning after the show so I don’t have to wait to hear what people are thinking about this week’s episode.

Firewall & Iceburg Podcast:  two TV reviewers from  Hitfix.com discuss TV shows and occasionally other pop culture items.  They are both whip-smart, clever and often quite funny.

Talking TV With Ryan and Ryan:  Gives a male and female perspective on various TV shows, often with an emphasis on “geek/nerd” shows I love like The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones.

TV Times Three Podcast:  Three TV critics – two regular hosts and then one host from rotating guests – talk about good and/or popular TV shows each week.  They have good TV news segments too.  The regular hosts have great voices and personality that shines through– especially Amrie who’s such a hyper spazz she just cracks me up listening to her.

Slate’s Spoiler Specials:  I don’t always get to see the movies (and occasional TV shows) these folks talk about, but when I do I like to check in on this podcast afterwards and see what Dana Stevens and her guest think of it.  Warning—the show contains SPOILERS, so listen after you watch.

POLITICS

The Young Turks:  hands-down the absolutely best source of political news, the hosts talk truth to power and unload with both barrels on Republicans and Democrats when its deserved (and it so often is).  They provide deep but easy to understand analysis about what the politicians and policies really mean.  The show has a progressive bent but it’s not biased and has no agenda other than getting at the truth.  They also mix in humor and a dash of pop culture and entertainment news as well.  This show is so good and indispensable that I gladly pay the membership fee so I can listen to the shows in their entirety.  Seriously the best ten dollars I spend each month!

Both Sides Now & KCRW’s Left, Right & Center:  Recaps of the past week’s political issues with smart and thoughtful commenters from the left and right, and a moderator to push back and keep the rants to a minimum.   Arianna Huffington, Mary Matalin, Ron Reagan, Eliot Spitzer, Robert Scheer, and David Frum offer up smart commentary from across the political spectrum.

I’ve actually got quite a few more podcasts I listen to occasionally, but these are the ones I listen to regularly.   How about you?  What podcasts do you listen to, and why?

Read Full Post »

If You Were a Girl, You’d Always Be Pregnant

“I’m not saying I would put a stop to the project, because I’m sort of a nice guy. When I was a kid, my mother said, ‘Stephen if you were a girl, you’d always be pregnant.’”

I was reading a recent interview with Stephen King where he shares the news that he’s writing a sequel of sorts to The Shining, one of my favorite King books — well, one of my favorite horror books, period!  I wrote a blog post about being a horror fan before, so if you’ve read me a while you probably already know that.

Anyway, I’m reading the interview, smiling at the always amusing and down-to-earth King, and getting excited about the notion of seeing where Danny Torrance is now, 30 years after the horrible things that happened to him as a boy at the Overlook.  And then I get to the quote above, and it gets me thinking about the difference between men and women… in other words, grist for a long overdue blog post!

First off, I found it interesting that King’s Mom would say such a thing to her son as a kid!  It makes me wonder if the anecdote is accurate given how memory works as years go by– god bless him, but it’s been quite a while since King was a kid.  But let’s assume she did say that to a very young Stephen… wouldn’t he respond with “What do you mean?”

And what would Mrs. King say to that question?

The context of the quote was an interview question concerning Warner Brothers potentially developing a prequel to The Shining based on material cut from the beginning of the novel King wrote.  King doesn’t want that to happen — he doesn’t explain why, but we can assume than as an artist he decided to cut that part out of his book and likely feels that his creative decision should stand — but he mentioned that he isn’t sure he’d put up a fight to stop Warner Brothers from going forward with the project.  Then he says:

“I’m not saying I would put a stop to the project, because I’m sort of a nice guy. When I was a kid, my mother said, ‘Stephen if you were a girl, you’d always be pregnant.’”

Which then got me thinking… the whole “nice guy” persona, something I’m very much familiar with, really is pretty much a male phenomenon.  I thought back to the posts I wrote about The Friend Zone, and The Mating Habits of Beta Men, but with an eye on just how different the whole friendly/nice dynamic is different depending on whether you’re the guy or the girl.  Being “the nice guy” really does tend to put you in a place where romantic and sexual contact is pretty rare, whereas being “the nice girl” can get you a fair amount of romantic and sexual contact if you so choose.  I often think about how interesting it must be to be a woman who has that power of choice, the ability to take a friendship with a man and one day just take it to another level if she desires.  How do women feel about having that freedom?  Are they thrilled by it?  Or burdened by it, in a “with great power comes great responsibility” sort of way?

Read Full Post »

This dream is just too funny…

I all too rarely have erotic dreams, sadly… but what’s even more sad is that when I do have one my subconscious usually finds some way to fuck it up before it can get to the good stuff.  I wake up with a hard on and irritated with myself.  Seriously, subconscious?!  As if my waking life wasn’t sad enough in the romance and sex department, I can’t even catch a break in my freaking dreams?!

Last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with a female friend I know online.  I recall thinking “wow, this is cool that we’ve gotten to meet in real life, and we’re getting along great!”  So we’re going along, enjoying each other’s company, when I get a sense that she wants me to kiss her.  Now, in the past, my usual response to this sort of thing in real life is “nah, that’s just wishful thinking on my part…“  But I’m an older man now, and heck this is a dream, so I go for it… and it turns out that she did want to kiss me!

So we start making out, and things begin to get hot and heavy, clothes are coming off… and suddenly I start feeling sad, and thinking “man, everyone else always gets the girl...” and I get up and quietly leave the room to the lovebirds…  I walk out of the cabin a large group of us are staying in, go to the fridge, get a beer and step outside into the night air.  I imagine what those two are doing in the bedroom, jealous and sad…

…And suddenly realize– wait a minute, that’s ME in there with her!  So why in the hell am I out here?  I mean, it’s bad enough that my subconscious (not to mention real life) usually finds a way for someone else to get the girl, but this time I actually GET the girl and I can’t even enjoy it first hand!  WTF?!?!

I wake up with a hard on, irritated with myself… but this time I just have to laugh out loud at how absurd my subconscious can be!

Read Full Post »

Behind Every Hot Broad

I recently saw this picture meme floating around Facebook:

I’m sure quite a few men out there think this is pretty funny.  To the losers out there, it’s the perfect sour grapes defense:  sure, the “hot broad” may not pay me any attention, but she sucks in bed anyway so I’m not really missing anything.  To the “playas” out there, the ladies-men, they laugh and nod– since I’m god’s gift to women, it doesn’t matter how hot the woman is, she’s not going to keep my interest for long because no woman can measure up to my awesomeness.

Us Beta Men though… we don’t think this is funny at all.  In fact, we think it’s a rather embarrassing example of the male psyche, the need to diminish and belittle women to cover up a man’s own inadequacies.  It’s the sort of thing that women see that confirms for them that men are all dogs.

But not all of us… some of us, we see that picture meme, and we follow it up with this picture meme:

Read Full Post »

Breasts, Part 2: First Times!

I’ve written about my first slow dance with a girl, and about my 3 first kisses, so as a follow up to my post about breasts I thought it might be fun to write about my first experiences with actual breasts attached to girls that I knew, as opposed to the breasts attached to the impossible women found in the stash of Playboy magazines I found under the house after my Dad moved out when I was just hitting puberty.

Read Full Post »

The Long-Awaited Post on Breasts

So the other day I was listening to the awesome podcast Why You Suck In Bed, Episode 73 “Cali Returns, Part 1.”  They had one of the original hosts, Cali Rose, back on for the night to talk about what she’d been up to, and along with the other original and current host Dr. Stacy, and new host Molly, it was a glorious romp through various sexual topics from the female perspective.

Dr. Stacy from the Why You Suck in Bed podcast

At one point the talk turned to nipple rings.  Dr. Stacy doesn’t have nipple rings and was asking the other two about them; Cali used to have nipple rings, and Molly currently has nipple rings.  Then came this exchange, which piqued my attention:

Dr. Stacy: Do you ladies not agree that the nipples are the most neglected body parts during sex?

Molly: YES!  It’s like you’ve got to force the guy to fucking suck on them.

Doctor Stacy:  It’s like “remember these??”

Molly went on to add another benefit of nipple rings is as a way to get guys to notice and pay attention to the nipples.

I have to admit to being flabbergasted.  What kind of lame guys are these women sleeping with that are ignoring their nipples?!  Women’s breasts are awesome, how can you neglect them when you’ve got a woman offering her body to you?  I mean, sure – there are all sorts of wonderful lady parts to devour that you can get a bit overwhelmed by the yummy choices, but c’mon– the nipples and breasts are cake!

Read Full Post »

Feeling Rip Van Winkle

Sometimes it boggles my mind to think about modern dating. The last time I was in dating mode was roughly 1995 or so. A lot has really changed since then, not least of which is the technology we have now.  Back then the internet was around but it was clunky and not really used for social networking too much.  Certainly no Facebook or online dating sites.  Cell phones were expensive and generally terrible reception, and there was no texting.  No sexting, no Skyping.  No smartphones that could take flirty pictures and send them to people instantly.  While I’ve certainly kept up with the times and the technology to some degree, I’m a babe in the woods incorporating it into sex and love.

For instance, there’s that commercial where that slimy guy goes on a date and is trying out various lines on the girl, and she keeps busting his lies by checking his Facebook right on the spot on her smartphone —obviously it’s a bit exaggerated, but Facebook (and blogging) offer ways for people to get to know each other quite quickly.  While there are downsides to this—obviously, you lose out some on the mystery and fun of the getting-to-know-you phase – but the upsides strike me as pretty significant.  For one thing, honesty is something that’s reinforced and rewarded.  Sure, you can cook up an online persona that’s different than your own and trick people into thinking you’re something that you’re not, but if you’re actually interested in interacting with people face to face, falsehoods and deceits are going to be discovered.  It’s just way too easy now to bust people in lies.  So while being honest might reduce the number of people who find you interesting on the surface and leave your inbox or chat screen quiet, the people who do find you interesting and connect with you are actually going to find you interesting for real.  For people who don’t have a lot of time to waste flailing around an ocean of Mr. or Ms. Wrongs looking for the Right, that seems quite helpful.

Take Facebook for instance.  My life is so ridiculously busy that I rarely have time to set aside for regular human interaction outside of work and kids.  But thank god for Facebook—it lets me keep in touch with the family and friends who mean a lot to me, and keep me connected and involved, even if it’s just pushing a “like” button or firing off a funny comment.  I imagine whenever I might actually have a woman in my life I’ll be able to carve out some actual face time for her, but the majority of time we’re going to be busy with our separate lives.  I suspect Facebook will help us stay connected and in touch during the times we are apart, and that seems pretty cool.

I’m guessing my smartphone will help do similar things, firing off quick texts just to let each other know they’re on our minds even if we don’t have time for a phone call.  Sending funny – or sexy – pics.  And I’ve read about having virtual dates via Skype which sound intriguing for when you can’t be together face to face.

I know so much about dating in 2012 is going to be really weird from my 1995 frame-of-reference, but I’m pretty excited to experience it!  So have any of you recently gotten back into dating and have had to get acclimated in how technology has impacted love and sex?

Read Full Post »

Police that Mustache

The past few blogs have been on the heavy/serious side, I thought I might shake things up with a little fun!  Since I have a good number of great women who read this blog and comment, I wanted to ask you:

What’s your opinion on men and facial hair?  Specifically, I’m curious about whether, when kissing/making out with a man, do women find him having facial hair annoying, sexy, or not really a factor in the enjoyment level of smooching?  Does the quantity of facial hair matter– mustache, goatee, full beard, cultivated 5 o’clock shadow look?

Read Full Post »

Online Chemistry

I’ve talked to a few people over the recent months about online dating, and while I’m not quite ready to jump into those waters, I have gone online and checked out various sites to see what they’re like (or at least as much as you can without subscribing, which is not much actually).  I’ve set up profiles on Chemistry, Date.com, Match.com and BeNaughty (just for kicks).  All of them have similarities, and it’s fun to browse and see what people are looking for in their potential dating partners.  It’s also fun to see how many people out there have just awful grammar!

I have to admit Chemistry has sucked me in the most; even as a non-subscriber, you still get the feel that the service is trying to line you up with people who match well with what you’re looking for.  Unfortunately for me you can’t actually interact with these folks unless you pay up, which obviously makes sense if your a business.  Occasionally they give you “free subscriber” status for a half day, sometimes for the weekend, and I’ve actually been able to read a couple emails that paid subscribers sent me.  I tried to be slick and answer them, giving them my email address but when I got a similar email from someone who was also taking advantage of the “free subscriber” status, I saw that Chemistry strips away email addresses mentioned in their internal email exchange.  Sucks for me, but again– makes sense for Chemistry to do this.  They’ve got a smart set up, sucking me in and corralling me towards paying for a subscription despite my best efforts to cheat the system.

I’m not yet ready to pull the trigger on paying for an online dating service, but if/when I do Chemistry is probably what I’ll try first.  The couple who’s wedding I went to last month?  They met on Chemistry last year.  Worked for them!

I thought it might be fun to share some of my profile stuff here with you all. 

Read Full Post »

Happy August 1! (Birth Control and Women’s Health)

I have to say, it’s about damn time…

While it’s a great honor and special privilege women have being able to grow a new human being inside them, creating that special mother/child bond, it also involves a lot of physical and emotional stress on top of the lifelong responsibility.  Without getting too deep into the political weeds surrounding the Affordable Care Act, this part at the very least is a slam-dunk/no-brainer.  Women should have the ability to control if and when she wants to reproduce no matter where she is on the economic scale and no matter whether she’s employed or not, and when she does decide to have a child she should be able to get the care needed to ensure our new fellow human being is born healthy and ready for a productive life.    The independent, non-partisan Institute of Medicine says paying for these services will save money and lives down the road from all the health issues and unwanted pregnancies they will prevent.

Not to mention of course, for every woman on birth control, there is usually a man involved who’s quite happy about the situation!

So, on behalf of the male population, Happy August 1 everyone!!

Read Full Post »