Sorry I haven’t written much lately. I guess I haven’t been overly inspired… Losing my father and both my grandmothers in the span of four months the tail end of last year really knocked the wind out of my sails, and then recently I had a health scare regarding someone who is very close to me (and who seems to be coming through it okay, fingers crossed and prayers for continued success).
While family and friends have been a blessing of support during these times, not having a significant other to lean on for comfort and strength has me feeling particularly lonely and sad, which in turn has made it tough to blog “on theme.”
When I started this blog, I had just gone through a split with my wife, and rather than become bitter about marriage and women, I wanted to use the blog to focus on what I loved about women, to be a source of positivity and joy. Memories of past relationships have been a treasure trove of inspiration for quite a few posts over the life of this blog… but I’m beginning to feel like I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel. I really haven’t had all that many relationships so the pickings were slim to begin with.
No… what I really need is to make new memories!
But then I look at myself, look at my life and wonder: how in the world can I really expect to find anyone willing to date me? I’m overweight, out of shape, and between working a full and part-time job, and visitation with my kids, there’s very little time I could spend on dates. I’ve got some discretionary spending, but supporting two kids ain’t cheap. Plus, my “good” car (I also have an old van) is a hand-me-down from my ex that’s good for shuttling kids around but isn’t really something that would impress a date.
Now, I know I have a lot of positives going for me and have a lot to offer the right woman, but I have to be honest with myself and question whether a good woman would take a chance on me, given the relative downsides I listed above. The other day it occurred to me: I’ve got quite a few female friends… so why have they not tried to set me up with any of their single women friends? The answer: why would they?
Last week I finally recovered from a really nasty cold, and Thursday I was feeling so much better… and it reminded me of the times in my life where I decided to take my health more seriously, began to eat right and exercised… and once I’d begun to do that, the feeling you get from feeling so much better… it makes you wonder why in the world you stopped to begin with. I latched on to that feeling, and decided to get back on the program. For real this time. If I want to make new memories, I need to be the kind of man a woman wants to be with. I’m a good man, kind and generous, smart… really the only thing (I think) holding me back is a healthy body.
I’ve done a lot of diets over the years, and read a lot about health. I knew what works and what I wanted to do. So Saturday I planned it out, splurged a bit on some “bad” food, and then this past Sunday kicked it off! I’ll detail my new way of eating in another post soon, but as of Day 4 everything is going according to plan… and I’m pretty stoked!
Regarding the time and money… well, I have managed to shift my life around to the point that I have each Friday and Saturday off. Every other Saturday I get my kids, but that still leaves Fridays and every other Saturdays to spend time with future lady friends. Money… well, that’s not something I see changing for a while, but I’m pretty creative in finding fun things to do that don’t cost a whole lot of money. I’m not going to be anyone’s sugar-daddy that’s for sure, but I think we can have some fun.
As far as my car… well, this year I do plan on getting a new car. Or at least, a car that’s “new to me” just not too old. Assuming my current car holds out, I’m looking at July or so for the purchase… and when I go shopping, I’ll certainly be looking for something that I can be proud to pull up in front of a future date’s house.
So anyway… I suppose the focus of this blog is going to shift a bit to be more about my reboot, becoming “Bennie 3.0” and my quest to becoming the kind of guy my women friends want to set their friends up with. Should be a fun ride! What do you think?
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