My dear friend and regular blog reader Molly sent me a note the other day that offered up a female perspective on what I write about here on My Ideal Woman. While she enjoys the blog, she has some concerns.
“You, my dear, are female-obsessed!”
Hahaha, I suppose I am! I’ve pretty much been starved of female attention for years 
She pointed out that I spend a lot of time writing about various celebrity women on TV and movies, and if I was dating someone who read my blog, well… My Ideal Woman… She’d Better Be Very Secure. Otherwise, all the lust in my heart for these actresses would drive her nuts!
This certainly sets off alarm bells for me. I started this blog for two reasons– specifically, as a way to work out in my head and my heart what I hope to find in a woman when I start dating again and, more generally, a celebration of all the things I love about women (basically to broaden the potential reading audience of the blog).
Of course, being a divorced guy with no time currently for dating and lonely for female attention, memories of past loves or the actresses I see on TV or on movies offer up pretty much the only sounding board I have for celebrating women.
Yeah, pretty sad I know!
But it horrifies me to think that this blog might turn off a potential future dating partner; I mean, I do hope to start dating again not too long down the road, and if she reads my blog I’d hate for it to ruin things. It’s always been my intention for My Ideal Woman to be something I’d offer up to her to read if she was interested in learning more about me, things I thought about while going through this transition time. I try to make sure the tone is one of respect and admiration because that is how I genuinely feel about women. I sometimes read stuff about guys (and gals) having “types” that they find attractive in the opposite sex, and while I do have certain things I find very attractive, I also tend to find something attractive and amazing in nearly every woman I meet.
Once I start dating again, I expect things on this blog to change. I’m definitely much more interested in celebrating women in the here and now, rather than memories or characters on the screen. I’ll still have lust in my heart, but I’ll be lusting for that special woman in my life, giving her all the attention and respect that she’ll deserve, and hopefully getting the same in return. The nature of this blog would certainly change — for the better! My Ideal Woman would start celebrating the real, the here and now, and the future.
I for one am really looking forward to that change!
So, a question to my female readers: If you were single and dating a guy who wrote a blog like this, would it cause problems? If so, do you have any suggestions for me on how to fix it?
No, it doesn’t bother me to read it, as long as the attention is coming my way, too.
Becky
Yay! *channel my inner Barry White* I have so much love to give
It will just weed out the insecure, hon
You don’t want one of those anyway, we’re a pain in the ass. I am glad you took some of my words to heart and wrote about it to get some feedback. I was sharing with you what occurs to me as I read your posts but I am definitely viewing things through my own set of built-in filters, not necessarily healthy ones. You are a prime example of healthy in that sense and I didn’t mean to shame you one bit. I don’t think you should change, either! I just think that your ideal woman, as you said, had better be secure 
Ah, so my blog can be psychological test eh? *grins* …Though if she’s as sweet as you I’d be strongly tempted to make an exception
I very much enjoy reading your blog and think you have a great admiration for women. If I were reading it as a potential date, I would be encouraged by your respect for all women. It would make me feel like I didn’t need to be perfect…but I might just be perfect for you. Reading it makes me happy and proud to be a woman. Keep up the good work.
Thanks, Beth!! Wow… *blushes*
We all are in many ways obsessed. It is thrust apon us by precious few opportunites to enjoy emotional and physical bonding where ther emphaisis is pairbonding or nothing. It is easing with the internet and hopefully few men will be off to find solace in the French Foreign Legion to try to forget after they loved and lost. Falling in love which is a natural bonding process is now likely as not to become a pshycological illness where a person ceases to function in everyday life. To get into the science better read Sex at Dawn by Dr C Ryan.
Man, Daniel– that’s kinda depressing dude… not sure if I wanna read that book LOL
I don’t mind reading this blog even though, hypothetically, uhm, let’s say, * cough * I’m already dating you. I think I’d be honoured , in a way, that I was chosen as the ideal woman, He he he
Here’s to you…. CHEERS !
Hahaha, very good point– I like your outlook!!
Thanks for reading, and the CHEERS! Can always use more cheer right?
I love this blog. Maybe if you only liked celebrity women, or only liked women that were posing nude, or liked women in some offensive way, then it would be different. But this is a blog of a man who really likes real women. And I don’t mean just how they look. You like them. And I like that!
Thanks, Rachel! It means a lot to me that you love the blog
I think if a woman only looked at the surface and not at all of the deep emotions and various ways that you appreciate women she could be intimidated. Anyone who is secure in herself would know that she wouldn’t have to be all of the things you write about in order to be worthwhile. No one can expect to fulfill every emotional need for another person. So by extension she could not ever expect that she would have to live up to every expectation you ever had about women.
I would also hope that she would understand you have had thoughts, desires, and sexual experiences in your life before meeting her. That isn’t a negative thing at all. Maybe it would also help her open up to you in the same way about her past, her desires, and her needs.
I sure hope so!
While I’m not really the kind of guy who keeps all his feelings and thoughts bottled up when I’m in a relationship, I’m definitely *much* better able to express myself in the written word… so I’ve always hoped that this blog would help people get to know the “real” me, even if they know me in real life.
I know exactly what you mean. It is easier to express myself when I give myself the time to process it, choose the right words, and organize things outside of my brain.