…She’d Be Compassionate

I was listening to Fleetwood Mac the other day, and something interesting occurred to me while listening to songs by Stevie Nicks and Christine McVie.  Everyone always focused so much attention on Stevie, with her sultry looks and gypsy clothes, in pictures she certainly radiated sex appeal.  Christine always looked like a wallflower, and her pictures often weren’t very flattering.

Fleetwood Mac -- The Songbird and the Witch

When they’d sing, Stevie had the odd but not unpleasant voice, and she’d write weird, witchy lyrics that were often introspective, with heavy use of the pronoun “I”…

So I’m back, to the velvet underground
Back to the floor, that I love
To a room with some lace and paper flowers
Back to the gypsy that I was
To the gypsy… that I was

Christine’s voice was like an angel, and she wrote songs about love– romantic love, lustful love, heartbreak love.  She’d make heavy use of the pronoun “you”…

Don’t, don’t break the spell,
It would be different and you know it will.
You, you make loving fun,
And I don’t have to tell you but you’re the only one.

Have mercy, baby on a poor girl like me,
You know I’m falling, falling, falling at your feet,
I’m tingling right from my head to my toes,
So help me, help me, help me make the feeling go.
‘Cause when the loving starts, and the lights go down,
And there’s not another living soul around,
Then you woo me until the sun comes up,
And you say that you love me.

And some of the duets she’d sing with Lindsey Buckingham were pure sex.

So it occurred to me recently, after going from a Stevie song to a Christine song– I bet Christine McVie was a much better lover than Stevie Nicks.  Based on lyrics alone, I could see Stevie being selfish and critical, not as interested in giving as receiving.  On the other hand Christine I could see getting lots of pleasure just from giving her lover pleasure.  I could see Stevie getting mad and having a “headache” for weeks at a time.  With Christine I could see wiggling your eyebrows and nodding towards the bedroom, and her grin matching your own as she took your hand, even though you’d had a fight an hour before.

I know I’m probably reading too much into things, but still… I know first hand that writing song lyrics often require digging into a lot of deep and emotional spaces, and as such can be pretty revealing.

I can boil this impression I get from Nicks and McVie down to one word:  Compassion.  I suspect Christine McVie is probably a much more compassionate person than Stevie Nicks.

When I look up the word “compassionate” this is typical of the definitions I get:

“A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. “

I find it odd that the definitions seem to require another person’s misfortune be involved in order to evoke compassion?  For me, I’ve always thought being “compassionate” to mean being genuinely concerned and interested in someone else’s well-being, whether that’s helping them when they’re down or trying to lift them higher when they’re up.

Perhaps I’m getting compassionate conflated with being empathetic?

At any rate, I value compassion and empathy quite high.  I enjoy being around people who think about others, who worry about other people and get pleasure out of helping others or making others feel good, because I’m that kind of person.  When you send out those sort of vibes and you get them back in return, you create a positive feedback loop that makes everyone happier.  But when you feed that compassion into someone who doesn’t send it back in return, it can quickly dry up and leave you feeling as if you were being taken advantage of.

Think About Me
by Fleetwood Mac
Written by Christine McVie
All it took was a special look
And I felt I knew you before
Didn’t mean to love you
Didn’t think it would work out
But I knew we would be together
And I couldn’t wait for more
But what can they say
It’s not against the law

I don’t hold you down
Maybe that’s why you’re around
But if I’m the one you love
Think about me.

I believe that you really want me
But it’s not easy, just to give in
So let yourself go, and let love begin.

I don’t hold you down
Maybe that’s why you’re around
But if I’m the one you love
Think about me.

Next time around I hope to find someone who thinks about me as much as I think about her…